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A Dildo Has Ruined the Mets Season

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You read the headline correctly, as a Mets fan, I’ll find a reason to blame just about anything for the wheels falling off of my team, and given that it is as early as May, it already might be over. Terry Collins is the most tenured active manager in the game, and it seems like he is doing the little things wrong, the pitching staff is already injured, David Wright’s back is possibly unfixable and TJ Rivera was in a picture from the official Mets account with a dildo in the background.
The dildo is responsible for Matt Harvey’s hangover (or whatever it was he was doing). The dildo is responsible for Thor getting injured. The dildo is responsible for all of the Mets problems.
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