How to think smarter about failure | Tim Ferriss, Ethan Hawke & more | Big Think

How to think smarter about failure
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What does it mean to be a failure? Failing is typically seen as moving in the opposite direction of a specific goal, when in reality, most achievements in history were made possible by a series of non-successes.

"The very concepts of success and failure are words that never really meant anything," says astronomer Michelle Thaller. She and others argue that successes and failures are inextricably linked, and that how we define them for ourselves is what matters.

As Ethan Hawke, multidisciplinary filmmaker Karen Palmer, entrepreneurs Steve Case and Tim Ferriss, executive coach Alisa Cohn, and others explain, finding personal success means taking risks, being willing to fail, and recognizing when—and why—things are not working. "Most things will fail, but that doesn't mean you're a failure," Steve Case says. "That just means that idea failed. And what can you learn from that idea and then move forward."
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TRANSCRIPT:

Do something where it's going to go bad. Where you know that ahead of time. 'Cause like what's the worst that can happen?

You have to try a lot of things. Most things will fail, but that doesn't mean you're a failure. That just means that idea failed. And what can you learn from that idea? And then move forward.

The very concepts of success and failure I think are words that never really meant anything. And actually, I strongly suspect they have a lot to do with privilege.

MICHELLE THALLER: I often get questions from young students, and they say, well, how did you become a success? Or another great question these days is how did you overcome failure? And the funny thing is I found myself really kind of at a loss because the very concepts of success and failure I think are words that never really meant anything. And actually, I strongly suspect they have a lot to do with privilege. That if you can make yourself in the model of a research professor of 100 years ago, that's defined as a success. And if you do something different it's defined as a failure. There's never been any time in my life where, even after having received an award, or having been on a television show, I sat back and said, boy, I really feel like a success. It was always wrapped up in feelings of I should've done something differently, I should've had a different career path. There's never been a time where I felt like a success. And at the same time the idea that you ever really fail at something. There are plenty of times that, I very nearly failed differential equations in calculus, there were things that I was not very good at. But I eventually got them on, say, the third or fourth try. And the problem was just staying around and telling yourself that I really want to learn this, and I'm just not gonna leave until I do. There wasn't any really true failure either. It was always kind of twisted up with things I was proud of, that I was actually working through and trying to learn. So this idea that at some point in your life you're going to stop and feel like a success. Yes, I am successful now. I get very, very nervous when people ask me about that, about how did you become a success. I wanna sit them down and tell them all the things I screwed up, and all the things I did wrong, and all the reasons I'm not a success. And at the same time, when anybody calls me a failure, it's like, I wanna sit you down and explain why what I'm doing is actually getting your money and your funding for the rest of science. I'm not a failure either.

Everything in life is gonna be a flow between those two things. Everything is gonna be a jumble of success and failure. Your personal life, your professional life, the way you feel about yourself. And it's a strange model we give young people. Try to be a success, try to overcome failure. All I can do is just kind of breathe and just realize that at no point in my life am I gonna separate those two.

ARI SHAFFIR: So I was maybe a year or two years into comedy. Went home to this job, came back, and was over-- I haven't thought about this in a while—I was overcome by fright. I couldn't get back on stage. I couldn't do it. I would drive from my apartment in West LA, 30 minutes towards The Comedy Store. Find parking, get out of my car, walk to The Comedy Store. Because you get an employee spot every week, and I was an employee, so you get your three minutes, and it was the highlight of your week. And I would park, go in, turn around, get back into my car, and go home without getting on stage. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I didn't know what to do. So what I did...

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